Memoir of Kalara Vadras, The Uncrucified - The Uncrucified https://www.theuncrucified.com/series/memoir-of-kalara/ An Exalted TTRPG Fan Project & Resources Mon, 05 Feb 2024 06:31:04 +0000 en-US Entry II – The Delightful Heretic https://www.theuncrucified.com/comic/entry-ii-the-delightful-heretic/?sid=160 https://www.theuncrucified.com/?post_type=comic&p=224 Angela R. Sasser Mon, 05 Feb 2024 06:31:04 +0000 Read More]]>

Memoir of Kalara Vadras, The Uncrucified

Chapter 2


“Knowing what I know, I know the reason why the Thousand Thunderous Blazing Cranes was always limned in gold leaf with the curious symbol of the sun etched into her forehead.”


Summary:

As a young slave, Kalara learned the price of comfort and trust. Now, a whole new part of her life begins under the ownership of the eccentric Ahrun Vadras, a Merchant Prince of Nexus. What secrets is he hiding in his library that a young, rebellious mind can’t resist?

Author Notes:

PREVIOUSLY: Born into slavery in Gem, Kalara grew up in the desert of the South, where she fantasized about joining the gunslinging Ashen Guard and becoming a hero. However, her daydreams could not help her escape the ownership of Cynis Varia and his cruel wife in the city of Chiaroscuro. Varia trained Kalara in basic literacy in order to help him cheat at games of chance. However, this arrangement would be foiled by Varia’s jealous wife, who assumed Kalara was the object of her husband’s illicit affections. The punishment for this imagined crime would leave Kalara physically and mentally scarred with her life in the hands of a new master in Nexus whom she knew nothing about.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)


Entry II – The Delightful Heretic

I took my exile from Varia’s household harder than I could ever have anticipated. I was like a man lost in the desert who had finally had a taste of water on his lips. The taste of being treated like a human being, even if I was being used by someone for their own gain, had been such a sweet taste. But now? I was chattel once more. Literacy had afforded me a position as a ‘permanent resident employee’ of my new master, Ahrun Vadras’, business and estate, for who was Cynis to resist bartering me away at a good price with his tutelage and training of my person as a selling point? I suppose I should have been thankful that I was not sold cheap to a far worse fate with his wife’s ire to consider.

In this new, strange part of my life, I lived in a small room that doubled as storage for dusty curiosities and helped organize the rooms and offices of his large estate and business which I traveled back and forth to as commanded. The city of Nexus was an intricate nest of roads and markets that led into dark and secret nooks of slums and gambling houses. I missed the dry warmth of the South and hated this loud, hungry city full of dank catacombs and two-faced merchants.

Even more, my mind was consumed by what I had lost and the strangest sense of betrayal that still made my scarred back ache at night. I became so restless and bitter, I began not to care about consequences. So it was I started to sneak into master Vadras’ study at night when the household slept. I would wait until the glow of candles disappeared from the shadow of his door, which was sometimes a challenge unto itself with as much as the man would work late. More often than naught, my willpower won out and I managed to stay awake longer than he could balance his books. The tomes in his study were the most forbidden pleasures to me. They beckoned me from the first day I set foot into the household and spied their gilded leatherette spines from the hall. Sadly, my limited vocabulary only granted me partial understanding of the more complex tomes, their colorful illustrations allowing me to glean just a bit more.

My favorite book that I returned to time and time again had an intricately embossed cover dyed jade green and adorned with dragons trimmed with gold powder. I loved the feel of the textured cover under my fingers and the painstakingly detailed illustrations within. I’d huddle with this precious tome under a chair keeping a single small candle nearby and hoping nobody would spy its light. This well-loved tome, as far as I could translate with my limited skills, told the story of The Thousand Thunderous Burning Cranes, a beautiful concubine turned warrior who raised an army against her unjust lords. Her adventures led her across snow-covered mountains where dragons coiled and cursed waterfalls where demons dwelled. My teenage imagination began to stir with purpose and ambition again. What if such a warrior came this city and wreaked havoc here? I would join her army as quick as that, facing demons with her at the fore!

As a sidenote, one day I will mention these adventures to our Commander Demiato, the Cathak bearing the mark of Dawn that leads the defense of our newborn city. Then perhaps she might understand just how her fearless intervention in preventing the reclamation of the slaves of Dinas Rhydd inspired me so. Just like a hero from a fairy tale, she brought us, and me, hope that we could change our fates. Her fearlessness is infectious, though she seems so unaware of the effect she has on those who would follow her into fire, a fact that makes me respect her even more.

However, one night whilst re-reading the adventures of The Thousand Thunderous Burning Cranes for quite possibly the 24th time, I heard the unexpected sound of boots in the hallway! I blew my candle out as quick as I could and huddled myself into the smallest ball I could under the chair, clutching the book to my chest.

It was master Vadras, muttering to himself with a candle in hand as he shuffled through papers, annoyed that he couldn’t find what he was looking for.

My mind raced! If he saw me, I would be punished. I should hide! But then what if he noticed me anyways? Surely he would smell the smoke from my candle. I was certain he could sense the rebellious thoughts I had been thinking only minutes ago. Better to ask forgiveness! I panicked and did the only thing I could think of…

…I threw myself out from under the chair, diving into a deep bow of apology atop the ‘stolen’ book and shouting “Forgive me, master, I was only looking at it!”

I scared Ahrun so badly, he dropped his candle and jumped back with a high pitched shout of an unintelligible word. I stayed with my head planted into the book, kneeling, as he cleared his throat, recovering his glasses and shining the light over me, assessing the situation with what was no doubt the judgment of someone who would punish me with a thousand tiny cuts, a hundred withheld meals, or worse, for having stolen his property (even if I hadn’t even made it out the door). Surely he would think I was stealing!

To understand my initial fear of Ahrun Vadras, you must know him. Back then, he looked an unassuming middle-aged man, lithe and well-kept with long white hair bound in a ponytail. The shine of his reading glasses always seemed to hide his intent. It was his unassuming nature that I always assumed hid darker things. His meticulousness also scared me, for nothing good had ever come of meticulous masters in my experience up to that point. They were always planning something else I would never expect.

“Child…” I heard his smooth, but annoyed voice intone. “…are you truly trying to steal…a book?”

“No, s-sir, master Vadras. I only meant to read it!” I shouted without thinking too much about my response, my forehead pressed to the book’s cover. I could feel his eyes on my exposed back, no doubt pondering which fingers he should break for stealing.

“Hah…do you even know the one you’re holding?” I could feel his smirk in the darkness.

“The…um…” I actually didn’t know the title. There were words in it I hadn’t learned yet. “The Glorious Adventures of the Thousand Thunderous Burning Cranes!” I tried to answer as best I could with my own embellishments to fill in the gaps of knowledge. In my nervousness, I literally shouted the answer back at him.

There came silence and then a most unexpected sound. A laugh. “That should be The Heretical Tales of The Thousand Thunderous Blazing Cranes.” He corrected with ease. I finally looked up and slowly sat back on my haunches, staring at him, dazed and confused.

Vadras continued. “If you are to read in such a manner, especially from such a priceless tome, you shall do it during my afternoon studies. Do you understand?” I could only continue to stare and blink with my face a pale fearful, blank.

“No professor of the Luminous Academy, even a retired one, would ever deprive a hungry mind of a book. Even a ‘thief’!” Vadras, calm now, joking even, returned to shuffling through his papers and spoke next without even looking at me. “Now, return to your quarters.”

I obeyed without a single word or moment of hesitation, carefully placing the book back on his desk and keeping my body bent in an apologetic bow even after I was out of sight. I would barely be able to sleep, my wide eyes plastered on the ceiling as questions burned through my young overimaginative mind. Would he really not punish me for this? Even more, would he actually really and truly let me read in his study? It was unheard of!

True to his word, Vadras let me read in his study afterwards while he processed his day’s accountings. Soon enough, he couldn’t resist his own urge to help me with my readings, the night’s sessions turning into full on lessons when he had the time, though it never felt like kindness, but Vadras’ own inability to suffer ignorance or resist a retired teacher’s old habits. Back then, I swear he could feel my frustration as a silently struggled over words and, like any good teacher, he just could not abide that.

Thinking back on this first true impression of the man who would become my teacher and father, I can but smile at the ironies. Knowing what I know, I know the reason why the Thousand Thunderous Blazing Cranes was always limned in gold leaf with the curious symbol of the sun etched into her forehead. I know now the extreme peculiarity of the man who would become my father, a man who would deign to let a slave read and let her even dream for a minute through the stories in a book.

Not to mention the fact Ahrun Vadras was such a man who had heretical and very illegal books in his library. He was a rebel long before I ever convinced him to be so with my foolishness.

Notes:

Featuring another Player Character from our campaign, Cathak Demiato, an accomplished Realm soldier who withdrew into self-exile after her Exaltation, taking a contingent of loyal soldiers with her. She manages the defense of the free city of Dinas Rhydd and works to atone for the atrocities committed in her past.

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Entry I – A Cautionary Tale https://www.theuncrucified.com/comic/entry-i-a-cautionary-tale/?sid=160 https://www.theuncrucified.com/?post_type=comic&p=166 Angela R. Sasser Sat, 03 Feb 2024 05:00:30 +0000 Read More]]>

Memoir of Kalara Vadras, The Uncrucified

Chapter 1


“Even then, those who owned me could not contain my imagination. Fate has come full circle.”

Chapter Summary:

In a world of defunct gods, corrupt nobility, and ancient magic, a young slave named Kalara struggles to find her place in a society where her future is bought and sold from one year to the next. An unexpected kindness releases Kalara from the cycle of cruelty, only to inspire her towards dreams a slave was never meant to have, dreams even the gods could not ignore.

Author Notes:

Tabletop gaming has always been a rich source of inspiration for my muse. Despite being an avid player in my youth, I hadn’t really played a tabletop game for at least 10 years before a friend roped me into playing some random game I had never heard of before. That game was Exalted (2nd Edition) and once the lore got its hooks in me, I was sold! I’m an old Vampire the Masquerade veteran and I’ve always loved the deep lore and construction of White Wolf’s worlds. Exalted has been a pleasantly surprising mix of non-western folklore, epic fantasy, and otherworldliness that I never expected.

Kalara Vadras’ story came to me in the form of a single intense scene from her past, the day of her Exaltation. It was a day of black sun, a reformer whose dreams had been crushed, a woman crucified by one hand. How could I resist such haunting imagery? From there, her story has grown into this memoir based on my explorations of her during our tabletop game. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writing it!

Kalara’s still going strong in-game as of this writing, despite the fact she began as a very squishy Eclipse Caste. The longer she lives, the more she learns! Creation, beware…

Content & Trigger Warnings:

PG – Mature themes, chattle slavery


Listen to the audiobook version of this chapter: iTunes | YouTube | Soundcloud


 

Entry I – A Cautionary Tale.

Foreword.

Let it be known in the chill of Resplendant Air of RY 765, I began this memoir a scant time after settling into the freshly built shack that would become the first guild hall of the Pristine Guild, the guild I built from the shattered hopes and dreams I had left in me. It would rise from stick and mud beginnings just as I have from the dusts of the South to a grand path that lies before me.

Already, those who would tear this place down and reclaim this city and its people have been beaten back. The strings of destiny knot here in this place full of the undeniable passion of the free and the awe-inspiring golden warriors that I somehow find myself numbered among.

May this document be proof that I, Kalara Vadras, daughter of Ahrun the Seeker, lived in this moment in Creation for a cause larger than myself. For any who may discover these words after my death, let them serve as a lens through the myopia of time and memory. This is my story and my cause. Let it be yours, if you have courage and understanding.

~

It was told to me by the other slaves when I was old enough to understand that my parents had been lost to a great plague that had passed through the South, taking the rich and poor alike. I knew no more of them but smiling faces and distant lullabies.

And so it was that I grew up a child of random handlers, slaves who took the moments out of their full days to teach me how to avoid a beating or showed me the rare surrogate affection. I was also a child of labor, working long hours running to and from the market retrieving whatever needed retrieving, cleaning, sweeping, and crawling into dangerous spaces only a child could fit for machine repairs and mining operations. My lullabies became the murmured tales of Dream-Eaten, slaves who returned from the Fey lands soulless and hollow. Tales of their misfortune lulled me to required darkness with their moral. Be a good little slave, for that is how one survived.

There were worse duties for slaves, like the dead-eyed ‘dolls’ I saw sometimes in the pleasure quarters or the wretched soot-covered chain gangs who worked the mines. I kept my head down and continued cleaning, sweeping, and crawling. I did whatever was asked of me in fear of the hazy definition of what ‘worse than this’ could mean.

It was on an unremarkable run to the marketplace for the usual errands that my love affair with flame pieces began. I was trying to reach the grocer’s booth when I found the way blocked by an unusual congestion in the market traffic. I managed to squeeze my way through the cheering crowd lined along the main street to catch my first glimpse of them – The Ashen Guard.

They marched in formation down the street, their grey cloaks flowing in the warm wind, the hot sun glinting on their bayonets and pale, colorless armor. They had just returned from their latest victory against a raider’s camp.

For those not of the South, it is said the Ashen Guard defended the city of Gem from a terrible siege undertaken in the aftermath of a volcanic eruption. Their elite regimen was tasked to ambush the raiders while the town rallied a defense. Inspired by the tactics of desert outlaws, they buried themselves in the ash, using breathing tubes and periscopes to stay hidden until their enemies were just within arm’s reach. Then, they sprang, decimating their surprised enemies!

Oh, how my boundless child’s imagination created stories about their adventures! I imagined myself riding full tilt atop a white horse in pale armor, ashen cloak flowing behind me, firing off that single impossible shot through the eye of a needle to fell my enemies. I was a ghost in the sands, a hero of the city!

Even then, those who owned me could not contain my imagination. Fate has come full circle. My guns defend Dinas Rhydd, this city of freed slaves. Despite my own reservations, I’ve found myself numbered among its heroes. How I would have smiled then if I knew what was to come to me as a grown woman. Instead, I only had my daydreams and cautionary tales to get me through those bitter nights.

Throughout my adolescence, I would be passed along from one master or another, some kind, some cruel. All owned me as they would a dog or a horse, no matter their intentions for good or ill. I daydreamed too much to be diligent and gambling problems in the city of Gem meant I was always being sold to cover debts or won in games of chance. However, it was one such master who acquired my contract when I was 16 in a game of cards that would, despite it all, do me a most unexpected favor.

I was bought and sold without even a chance to bid farewell to my home town or my friends there. Attachments were always a dangerous thing to nurture in this life, for they could be stripped away, along with the rest of your identity, at the merest whim.

I became the property of Cynis Varia, a churlish man with a small amount of weight to his name (and his girth), but a terrible gambling habit coupled with failed business ventures had resulted in his unofficial banishment to the city of Chariascuro.

For an Imperial from the Blessed Isle, I would learn that this was quite a disgraceful place for any noble, a fact Veria’s wife, Sana, would remind me of constantly with her tantrums that often ended up unleashing upon myself or the other household slaves with the broadside of a light, but sharp, carved bone swatter she used to keep away the flies. We ‘lovingly’ called it ‘her sharp tongue’.

Veria did not improve his gambling habit upon becoming an unlikely citizen of Gem. It was a day like any other day avoiding Sana and finding housework to do as far away from her as possible that I found myself pulled aside and ordered to begin learning numbers and letters from a tutor. My tutor was a thin, bespectacled man who seemed allergic to my presence with his constant sniffling and upturned nose at my person. His great intellect was wasted on a slave such as me, which he never ceased to remind me of when I answered incorrectly.

I was terrified at first. Why was I being forced to take on these extra duties? Was it a strange sort of punishment? Had I done something wrong? Learning how to read certainly seemed like a punishment, at first, but I couldn’t deny the fact that a whole new world began to appear around me.

What once were cryptic symbols I had no time to ponder on became points of fascination as the cipher of literacy began to fall in place, piece by piece. Fate would have it that I was a quick study, so much so that I could swear having seen a small glimmer of approval of my progress in my tutor’s face one day.

Soon my terror would peak, however, when master Veria came and fetched me himself, gathering us quickly into a palanquin to go I knew not where. Understanding began to creep in as he brusquely explained that we were going to a meeting. I was to be his hand servant while he played a game of chance. If the cards of his opponents were favorable numbers in a certain range, I would ask if he would like me to fetch is drink. If they weren’t, I would scratch my nose.

His request was so surreal, I could do nothing but float through the night as if in a dream, daring not to mess up his instructions for fear of terrible punishment. Surprisingly, the numbers made sense and I quickly picked up on the rules of the game.

My performance was so flawless, Veria’s schemes with me as his gambling tool became more complicated as time went in. In a relatively short while, I was counting cards and creating elaborate signals to notify him by. I became his ‘lucky charm’, as he called it. I foolishly enjoyed the reprieve from my regular duties then, relishing the glimpse of uptown and its high class lifestyle and my usual prize of a good meal that didn’t consist of table scraps. Veria even gifted me with a nicer set of clothes to attend the games at one point.

I should have known such joy was tenuous, for when Sana found out, she got the idea in her head that his outings with me went deeper than gambling, that I had somehow become a target of her husband’s illicit affection.

To prove her claim false and that I was nothing more than a tool for his games of chance, he gave me 11 lashes with her ‘sharp tongue’, enough so that I passed out before the end. I still carry the scars like a lightning strike across my back to remind me to this day.

Shortly after, wounds barely healed, I was hastily hauled off to the slave market where yet another person would become the master of my destiny. That was the end of my tenure as Cynis Veria’s ‘Lucky Charm’.

Despite all of this, I still feel a strange form of gratitude to Veria. No matter the reasons, he opened up a world of knowledge to me I might never have known.

The next person to buy a part of my life would be like any other master, at first, but he would change me forever. We would change one another.


GLOSSARY:

  • The Ashen Guard – A specialized mercenary core native to the city of Gem in the hot desert lands of the South. They are known for their famed skills with guns and strategy.
  • Dream-Eaten – The dream-eaten are mortals who have been sold to the Fey, who in this world devour the dreams of the living. Fey wish to destroy all Creation that encroaches on their chaos. Slaves are often sold to Fey for an easy profit, after which their soulless husks are returned, compliant shells of their former selves who are used for menial labor.
  • House Cynis – One of the Great Houses of the Scarlet Dynasty and the Blessed Isle. House Cynis has a deserved reputation for debauchery and perversion. Its power rests largely on its ability to provide slaves, drugs, and other vices to the Realm as well as the secrets it often learns through these activities.
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